Parenting Bliss: How Does It Feel?

Janaki

Apr 4

My grandmother would've turned 105 this year had she been alive. By the way, she lived up to a 100. She was petite but had a "you can't mess with me" personality. She mothered 8 children. You may wonder why I'm saying all this. Well, with one child and all the resources in hand, I find parenting very challenging. And yet, my grandma was able to bring up 8 children. I wouldn't say it wasn't challenging for her. What I mean is I have the luxury of social media and support groups, I can easily reach out for help, I'm educated, and I am financially sound and yet, when it comes to parenting, there are many times I feel crippled.

If you talk to children these days who are over 10, very soon they will start counting the list of complaints they have against their parents. My son's list looks somewhat like this:

My friend's parents have given him a mobile phone. Why can't I have one? You have trust issues.
All my friends have siblings. If I had one, I wouldn't be bothering you.
If you want me to keep the phone, you should not be using the phone too.
My friends go to tuition classes, why can't I?

And the list goes on and on with additions and deletions. The problem now is, technology has simplified tasks but it has made relationships extremely complex. Children have all the exposure, they know the right words to use to coax and convince. They get bored in no time. They constantly compare themselves with you. Sometimes, you are left without an answer. How do you handle this? As a child, we had to listen to our parents and so were deprived of doing certain things. Today to prevent your child from doing some things you need to control what you do. So, as a generation, we have always been and continue to be deprived. When can we ever do what we want to?

No matter which counsellor you go to, new problems crop up each day. The biggest challenge is to keep children away from gadgets. No matter how much you try, by the time they are about 6, they know all those shortcuts which you don't and hence can easily trick you. So many articles and posts are being churned out each day on parenting, hacks, tips, and yet when you meet another parent, the conversation invariably centres around how difficult life is with children. Isn't it?

When I used to visit my grandma, she would always say that she loves children. Despite having 8 of her own, she is not satiated. I smile at her and think…Patti (Grandma in Tamil), I wish I was born 50 years ago so that I would've experienced parenting bliss and want more.

This blog post is part of the blog challenge 'Blogaberry Dazzle' hosted by Cindy D'Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads' Cookhouse.