Soye Soul posted: " Even if you don't feel it, you're doing great. Even if you don't feel it, you're making headway. Even if you don't feel it, peace surrounds you. Soye. I think since I was 16, I always felt like I was running out of time. Like I'm constantly under the " SoyeSoul
Even if you don't feel it, you're doing great. Even if you don't feel it, you're making headway. Even if you don't feel it, peace surrounds you.
Soye.
I think since I was 16, I always felt like I was running out of time. Like I'm constantly under the gaze of a terrible invigilator, who's ready to snatch my script out of my hands knowing fully well I'm not done writing down all my perfectly thought-out answers. The worst part? Time for the exam hasn't elapsed. So what's the rush dear invigilator?
Read this if you feel the same:
As much as I tell myself, and you who keeps coming back to read these articles, I still fall victim of the 'people are doing better than you' thoughts. It's a really terrible one if I'm being honest but what can I do to stop that voice from making me feel like crap?
Keep in mind, this is the same voice that sometimes speaks life into me. The same voice that gives me ideas, the exact one that tells me 'everything is going to be okay'.
Some people might say 'I don't think you should say it's the same voice' but I assure you, it is. The tone. The depth. The sarcasm. The corniness. The exact same.
So how do I fix it? That is rhetorical and not rhetorical at the same time.
I have fully gone through my 23rd year and I must say it was a wild ride. But I think I finally got a grasp of reality and what it truly means to be an adult. I won't give the nitty details, but it's been a weird learning journey.
I started writing emails to myself on my 21st birthday in 2020 because I wanted to see how I would react a year later. The email I wrote to myself from 2021 to this year was very…hostile.
I wrote out every single detail of goals I wanted to have achieved by 2022, and with mixed feelings I tell you - I didn't achieve any of those things.
Why do I say it so lightheartedly? Because I achieved so many other things. Things I didn't even think I would/could. I didn't know how I would do them but they got done. Isn't that fascinating?
Writing the email to myself for next year was less tense because I've learnt that things would happen the way they're planned to…with little to no contribution from us.
No, I'm not saying don't plan or try to get your life figured out. I'm extensively say: Man proposes, God disposes.
The past 23 years have been livable but I must say I didn't really believe I could live life without everything being perfect. An over-thinker, over-achiever and hardened procrastinator…what a combination!
I know somewhere in my subconscious that everything would eventually be fine. They're already playing out well, but of course the human part still fights.
This new year (yes, this is my new year), I am going to try as much as possible to be light - not holding anything too tightly, not fighting God's plan, not struggling with my intuition, and not sabotaging myself.
I am hoping I can read this next year and smile because I took my own advice.
I also hope we learn in life to take things more lightly…
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