I'm OK With Following The Crowd Right Now

Periodt

May 3

I don't know if this is the social anxiety coming out of me right now but like for real I just let others decide who I am for real. Like it's not that I'm fake, I'm just moldable? That sounds weird as fuck but like I will change my personality to suit the person I'm with. Tbh I think we all do that a little, but then people are always on social media like "be yourself" and "don't follow the crowd" but honestly I'm kinda thinking that if there's a crowd it must be something good.

I'm no motivational speaker, I mean I literally don't have an ounce of motivation in me *manic smile* but like I don't get if I'm basic. It's just so much easier because life is stressful enough having to figure out literally every fucking thing about the entire universe… or at least that's how in feel. I was also kinda destined to be a basic bitch because I'm blonde so it have no other choice really. Literally if you were to get the essence of what basic is, it would be me. A blonde bitch who likes Starbucks iced lattes. I'm not even ashamed about the Starbucks though. It is popular for a reason.

Basic clothes are kinda fun though… or maybe not fun but like easy. I can put on a fucking hoodie and leggings and call it a day. And it's also comfy as hell. Sure I care about how people look at me and I do think that they think I'm such a boring and ugly bitch, but if I were to wear something a bit "different" those thoughts would be even worse.

Do you know what? I'm a saver. If there is a fear of spending money, it's me for real. I don't know what it is, but it works because basic clothes are usually less expensive than trendy ones. Call me weird or… cheap, but things look better when they're an absolute bargain. You know imma go around to everyone saying "Guess how much my socks cost?!" Or some shit like that. Don't get me wrong if someone were to gift me a fancy wee top or something nice, I wouldn't turn it away. Call me bloody bargain hunter, I don't care because imma be the one who just saved 25% on a top

I think the point I was wanting to get at here is that I think people have too much pressure to be someone different and to find who they are as quick as possible so they can stand out and while I think that's all good and you definitely should be yourself, I don't think there should be such an urgency. I always hear people my age being like "I barely know who I am!" Not in a mentally ill, kinda 'I should find you help' kinda way but like they don't know what to do in the future and they feel like they should but bitch take a breathe and realize that we've got fucking time. For real though. Maybe you didn't choose the right uni course for what you want to do or maybe you are near retirement and your like "I wish I did this instead" then you can still go and do it.

Sometimes it's easier to go with the flow and let people decide some things for you. I know at the moment I prefer not to stand out too much and kinda see where things take me because I have no clue what else to do. How am I supposed to navigate my way through life without any guidance from others. I kinda just hope that eventually the flow will go through something that I find interesting or more like me. I never thought being myself would be so difficult and life is difficult enough already so imma be basic for a second and you can do whatever it is you want.

Think of it as being neutral. I'm not going into anything with a set opinion or expectation, so I'll just see what I come out with. I hope you have a great day, stay safe and stay yourself PERIODT