In her new series My Shorts Alice uses her midlife disposition to rain on your parade. In Part 6 she tries to party but why does everything get so political? Because the personal is so political, children. Best bit: What are we celebrating? How much we can ignore.
What rhymes with cheddars?
What are we partying for?
Good morning Britain. Watching the New Year fireworks from London on a crappy tv above a floor littered with empty packs of cheddars, it seems as a nation we are partying into the wreckage.
What are we celebrating?
How much money we can spend on fireworks to 'be the best.'
How much pollution we can create.
How we got away with the policing and charging of our own people to walk our own London streets.
How much we can ignore.
How we don't have any war in - but race and poverty - in the uk.
That our children are safe and unaware of what really happens to children in Gaza - even though we lit that fuse a long time ago.
No ceasefire.
White male entitlement even as it crumbles slowly to the ground, hitting some of us on the head as it falls.
We're celebrating that we used to be great when we had slavery to build that greatness.
We're celebrating our materialism, out alcohol addiction, the toxic masculinity on our streets, our crumbling NHS behemoth, our corrupt government. We're celebrating Eton Mess, Liz Truss, the weakest king we've ever had that was sane and the disaster of Brexit. We're celebrating the end of lockdown without carrying into the new normal any of the lesson we could have learnt there......
Happy New Year (great) Britain!
Alice lives at 361diamond.co.uk
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