February is magical. The moment you say 'February', somehow your thoughts also move towards love and everything love is associated with. So, what better to write in February than about love! According to the Greeks, there are 8 kinds of love-- did you know that? Love is not such a simple concept comprising just 4 letters of the alphabet. There's a lot more to it. So, what are these 8 kinds of love?
- Eros (Romantic and inclined towards sexual intimacy)
- Philia (Where you feel a sense of deep friendship)
- Ludus (Where love is more playful)
- Agape (Universal--where love is directed towards all)
- Pragma (Love that lasts many years and stands the test of time)
- Philautia (self-love)
- Storge (Love towards one's family)
- Mania (love that becomes an obsession)
I'm sure just like me, you too had someone in mind when you read through the names of each of the above; someone who you could point to who practices at least one in the above list. Well, while loving self or the other is great, sometimes it can get unhealthy and toxic too. This happens in a situation where a person doesn't understand the limit and can go to any extreme to get the person they desire. This could include killing oneself, a married spouse, parents, family members, one's one child/children, and so on.
I was doing a bit of Google research to understand 'love' better and to my surprise, there were theories-- these theories help you grow in your relationships and allow you to understand those you are in love with or will fall in love with in the future. I wasn't ready for this. For me, love was and continues to be being comfortable in the company of someone you get intimate with, someone you can trust and respect. To follow theories to understand and fall in and out of love is something my brain cannot fathom. I have been in love--absolutely head over heels and then have also fallen out of it. I would not like to box that experience into theories. Rather, I would go over the lessons learnt so that I don't repeat the same mistakes ever again. At this point, I also want to add something I came across during my search. According to research by Siemens Festival Nights in 2012 (where they interviewed 2000 people), people fell head over heels in love only twice in their lifetime (only twice??!! surprising, right?). In response to this survey, the then Director of Communications for Siemens had commented that the results showed that it's hard to find that 'one' and though many people (who took part in the survey) claimed to be in long-term relationships, in fact, they realized later that it wasn't real. Yes, the research is dated, but love and falling in/out of love is eternal, isn't it? So, even though we keep looking for love at every bend and in every corner, true love in reality is indeed hard to find. Not just that, in the times we live in, it's even harder to sustain. Perhaps during such times, it makes sense to understand your love language and that of your partner and implement it to add the missing spark (and keep it glowing!) What do you think? Do you believe in theories of falling in love? What's your love language?
Photo by Marc A. Sporys on Unsplash
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