Today, April 7th, 2025, I celebrate nine years since I last drank alcohol or took drugs. While some might only celebrate the big milestones, I celebrate every year because a decade ago, my friends and family were preparing for my inevitable death. While autism, ADHD, and schizophrenia presented issues that created my near fatal addiction, it was this same neurodivergence that ultimately saved my life. So here are three lessons I have learned over nearly a decade of sobriety. 1. Not All Friends Are Actual FriendsSince being in recovery, particularly in early recovery, I had to remove a nber of people from my life. Many of these were people I would get drunk and high with. Misery loves company, and many of the people I called friends were only interested in me when my life was a reflection of their own struggles. The only way I have been able to maintain my safety is through having strong boundaries and being willing to remove people who ignore them. 2. Community Is Not Always A Physical SpaceOne of the most lifesaving moments in my recovery journey was discovering the Autistic community online and other neurodivergent people. While addiction and early recovery left me feeling very isolated, it was my connection to online communities that made me able to cope with the turmoil of those early days and those thereafter. The idea that we have to physically be in the presence of others to form connections was a lethal concept, and it was my connection to online communities that empowered me and helped me to like who I am. 3. Recovery Doesn't Mean Being Happy All The TimeI had incorrectly thought that being sober would mean that I would no longer feel the pain and distress that led to me using drugs and alcohol in the first place. What it actually meant was learning how to get my needs as a neurodivergent person accommodated; I also had to learn not to hide from my pain. By learning to sit with the negative feelings, addiction lost much of its grip. Final ThoughtsAddiction recovery is a unique and deeply personal journey. It requires self-compassion and forgiveness. The idea that all recovery requires abstinence is wrong. It is different for every person, and just because total sobriety works for me, does not mean it will for the next person. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to choose a recovery that is sustainable. Whatever makes life livable and doesn't harm us or others is valid. Thank you to all of you who support my content, you have given me a gift that I could never have imagined. You're currently a free subscriber to David Gray-Hammond. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription.
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Monday, 7 April 2025
Lessons I Have Learned In Nine Years Of Sobriety
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