Let me preface this by saying that this post was inspired by a few careless drops of coffee on my MacBook. I didn’t think much of it at first, since only three keys was affected. So I did what everyone does: flipping it upside down, dabbing at the mess and told myself it would be fine. But as the day went on, it got worse. Eventually, I had top stop what I was doing and rush to the nearest repair service, only to be met with a ridiculously high quotation for what was supposedly a minor issue on a MacBook that isn’t even that old (it was 2022). And let me tell you this, owning an Apple product? Not for the financially weak. I’m still getting it fixed, but I had no choice. For now, I’ve had to resort to using my dad’s old laptop in the meantime. Strangely enough, it works just fine. That alone made me realize how durable old things can be. Sometimes far more reliable than the sleek, fragile technology we’re constantly encouraged to upgrade to. But this whole experience taught me something else: hopelessness. Throughout the weekend, I drifted around the house, spending time with my family and friends, all while that feeling sat heavy on my chest. Not just because of everything I couldn’t do without my laptop, but because how limited my options were to fix it. There are no official Apple Stores here in Indonesia. Spare parts can take up to three weeks to arrive. Waiting isn’t always a choice, so you’re forced to compromise and settle for solutions that are more affordable, more uncertain and far from ideal. And all of that, because I spilled a few careless drops of coffee. That’s how hopelessness creeps in. It starts small, almost trivial, before quietly evolving into something heavier, a numbness where you realize you no longer care the way you used to. It makes you want to quit everything. To stop trying. To sit still and let the weight of it press down on you mistaking exhaustion for acceptance. Because hopelessness doesn’t just drain your energy, it takes away your reason to fight. And that’s what makes it so dangerous. It’s one of the hardest pits to climb out of, not because the walls are steep, but because you no longer know what you’re climbing for.
So what did I do?I had no choice but to pull myself together. So I did the only thing I could: I moved. I searched. I Googled alternatives, refusing to sit still. Sure, obsessively asking ChatGPT into the late hours of the night, whether this technician or that one could fix my laptop within my intended timeframe might not seem mentally sound. But I needed to do something. Action, even frantic action, felt safer than stillness. Because underneath it all, there was this quiet terror that if I stopped, even for a moment, I might not be able to get myself back up again. It felt like running for the last train of the night. If the doors closed before I reached them, I’d be stranded on the platform, trying to figure out how to get home without spending a fortune on an Uber. In the middle of the night. Alone. The fight was exhausting, as well. And lonely, too. But I forced myself to persevere. Not just because my laptop wasn’t going to fix itself, but because my entire body of work lives inside it (that’s why I barely wrote anything this month, by the way, now you know). Using my dad’s old laptop’s great and all, but it’s not mine. There’s sentimental value here. Especially soon as it happened, my mind went into one montage after another of myself, spending time using my laptop to its fullest potential like some sappy music video. So I used that nostalgia to drive me, believe it or not. I was on survival mode for the entirety of the week. So yeah, funny how something happened and it triggered you to think and write something profound. Sincerely, Cherie. (PS: Yes, I’ve got it fixed, thank goodness. I’m writing the last half of this through my laptop now. Yay). The Whiffler is free today. But if you enjoyed this post, you can tell The Whiffler that their writing is valuable by pledging a future subscription. You won't be charged unless they enable payments.
|
Tuesday, 24 February 2026
When My Laptop Broke, And So Did I
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
What I learned in my year as Academic Senate Chair
My 1-year term as Chair of Academic Senate is winding to a close. Phew. My obligations in this term end in two days. At that time, the new ...
-
Dear Reader, To read this week's post, click here: https://teachingtenets.wordpress.com/2025/07/02/aphorism-24-take-care-of-your-teach...
-
CALL FOR APPLICATIONS: AOM 2025 PDW ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ...
No comments:
Post a Comment