After I watched the What Is a Woman documentary, think about a year ago, I immediately wrote my opinions and reaction to share on my blog. But I didn't share it. Why? Because my reaction was somewhat different from how I have already presented myself and was afraid of getting attacked with other genuine sensible responses that will make me feel stupid about my response altogether.
This fear was strengthened when after I commented on the creator of the documentary's YouTube that I appreciated the movie and it helped me change my mind about certain things, mentioning also that I see myself as a free thinker, another user came to respond, "congrats fellow free thinker, for letting another person's thoughts change yours."
This comment was true, I let myself be persuaded to buy into someone's point of view. Even though I did so based on the logic of his argument.
I decided then to stay safe, let me just shut up and keep my comments to myself.
Today I came across If YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR GENDER, CAN YOU CHOOSE YOUR RACE? A short video addressing the same topic of transgenderism from the comparison point of black face vs woman face.
Black face as I had known of it was usually in the context of someone non-black painting themselves black for humor, but here it was referring to people who believe they are blacks born into white bodies and going ahead to make themselves black.
Woman face is what the political right is using to refer to transgenderism.
In both What Is a Woman and this second video, the argument is based solely on logic, and logic is really hard to challenge. It makes one look stupid right away. With logic presented, it's almost always hypocritical what is politically correct or acceptable and what's not.
But why do we refuse to accept logic then? Why can't trans-race be supported if it's okay to be transgendered? Why can't race be just a social norm as well, and be beyond biology?
From the people interviewed in these videos, it can be said that one reason they refuse to acknowledge their own logic (cos it can be seen on their faces that they get it), is because there is a greater accepted or endorsed answer in their social group, and one'd be very wrong and cancelled to say the opposite.
Another reason is the desire to be modern and open minded. I don't like people I judge to be close minded and consider myself very open minded. But open mindedness can lead one very very far away from their own truths and morals. We all have morals, whether shared ones with our community or personalized ones. I think the non religious will say boundaries. And in trying to be open minded, sometimes we force ourselves into positions and views that are not supportive to our wellbeing.
Because of open mindedness, I dated casually and accepted to be in a polyamorous relationship...what I realized? It wasn't for me. But I can't be trans just to find out if it really fits my values or not, can I ?
But maybe the real reason, the reason why many people will still go against their reasoning, is the emotional aspect of us. We are not just logic. From the same brain, there are emotions too. Emotions that give rise to actions such as kindness. You only have to imagine if it was a love one of yours that is the thing your logic is challenging to know whether you'd follow logic or want to love.
Logically, it makes no sense that a white person should claim to be black and for me to be okay with it. For the same reason, it makes no sense for me to accept transgenderism.
However, as an emotional being, that personally value support and having felt the emotional hurt of not getting that because others did not see things the way I saw them, it would be more than being an hypocrite for me to not extend support to someone else when they need it.
I can be okay with a white person saying their black, and someone else saying they are whatever. To bring you to the realization of hypocrisy, people can bring up so many logical scenarios. And I can be okay with them all.
But I can also acknowledge to myself that logically, this does not make sense. I just however want to give support, especially if my doing so doesn't affect me negatively.
Logic is indeed hard to challenge. But logic is not everything.
I remember I loved What Is a Woman because it was via logical arguments, and not moral ones.
But one reviewer loved it for being transphobic, except for the part that it wasn't approached through the God factor. To that reviewer, the main thing wrong with transgenderism is it being an act against God, and if that was ignored, then it shouldn't matter. If it wasn't a sin against God, then it was okay.
The second video on black face vs woman face had one reviewer commenting on how God apparently keeps making so many mistakes. Putting people into wrong bodies. Even though this reviewer was excited at seeing logic bring the interviewees to the point of stupidity.
But God is not even logical.
Religion and spirituality at the core depends largely on faith. Sure logic makes sense of it to some extent, beyond that, just have to trust our guts.
Just as some said, even though they see the logic, black face is just not the same thing as transgenderism.
I appreciated the What Is A Woman documentary because it made me understand it was okay to not just change along to new things. That if I had kids, I didn't have to be conscious about them wearing neutral colors, that it's okay for me to want my girls to be girls and my boys to be boys.
That being open minded does not mean to support everything, regardless of it's effect on society. And this to me, was in the example of a child claiming to be a cat, having their parents endorse it and resulting in the child meowing at their teachers when addressed in school. I found that absolutely disrespectful. Being disrespectful is the same reason why black face lacks social support.
And today, I appreciate both these videos I have referenced, because they made me realize why despite the logic, I felt uneasy to share something a year ago that would have communicated to a group of people that I did not support them.
Because today I acknowledged that logic is not everything. People and their feelings matter.
My own thoughts and feelings matter too, and that is why I wouldn't support anything I deem disrespectful or harmful to others. That is why regardless of what I support in others, I will still do things and express my thoughts in my own truth. As per my experiences and understanding at a time.
One direction today, maybe another tomorrow.
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