Recently, I watched a Tamil movie on Netflix called, Irugapatru (which loosely translates as tight hug). Please watch it if you have time. It is a story about 2 couples, each facing their own problems in marital life and seeking the help of a therapist. The third story was about the therapist herself--how is the life of a therapist when he/she gets back home after work? As I watched the movie, I could not help but think that I have experienced bits and pieces of each of the three couples' lives--it was so relatable. Whether we opt for a love marriage or an arranged one, after the initial phase, all married couples sail in the same boat, do you agree? Conversations become mundane, arguments increase (so we tend to talk less, if possible), and after a while, life gets boring. Where does the spark vanish on the way as we build a life together?
Often I've wondered if love means surprising each other, doing those little things for each other (without being asked for), going on long impromptu drives, ticking off couple goals, sipping coffee together as you watch the sun go down--the list is endless, you know what I mean, right? Honestly, my husband and I haven't ticked any of the boxes. We can never set couple goals, because we are opposites. If I think 'left', I know for sure that my husband is thinking 'right' at the same time. We often joke that our blood pressure readings are opposite too--he's on the higher side of the reading and I'm always at the lower end. And yet, at the end of 15 years of married life, we are laughing, crying and getting cross at each other and still sitting together for dinner chatting about the day. Sometimes, I feel that most of us have a satisfying life on our own, but we often compare our lives with that of our friends' lives and feel miserable. Besides, cyberspace is filled with advice and notes on ways to keep the spark kindled forever (if forever exists, that is). Somehow, we are made to look at the half-empty cup, instead of savoring the half-filled part. In the process, we fail to admire what we have and crave for what we cannot reach. We feel miserable and continue to live that way until it is too late. Too much information is dangerous. And our generation is experiencing it first-hand.
So, today, instead of sharing tips through this post, I would say that forget about couple goals and expensive gifts. Respect your partner/spouse, give them space, and make those little adjustments. Love will enter your life from every bend, every corner. Every day should be Valentine's Day--to show not just love, but have the comfort to bare yourself uninhibited. Chocolates and gifts will do too :) but the world now needs people who are less artificial and more natural. Even if you don't have Instagram-worthy stories and pictures, if you know that you live in a place surrounded by people who understand you in every way, every minute spent there is filled with love, and every day is Valentine's Day.
The movie Irugapatru also carried the same message. Love doesn't come from being perfect, but from being your own true self. As long as both partners strive to ignore smaller day-to-day problems, life becomes a beautiful journey filled with memorable moments. Let's promise ourselves not to chase impossible couple goals just because someone posted it on their social media handles. Let's stay true to ourselves and keep the spark in our relationship kindled forever. If that happens, love will be in the air not just in February, but all year through.
This post is a part of Remembering Love Blog Hop hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed.
Photo by Shelby Deeter on Unsplash
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