*Disclaimer: I have not seen the original Road House*
"It's no Shawshank Redemption, but it does what it says on the tin." - Lanklet Dev Snr.
"Lads. Every McGregor scene is Gigakino." - X (formerly Twitter) user, Big Atom Shill
Having not spoken with Conor for some time, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a letter from him, stamped with his own blood. Inside the envelope was an invitation, it read: "Dear Lanklet Dev, you have been invited to the premiere of Road House at the Black Forge Inn on 21st March 2024 at 8pm. Gerry "The Monk" Hutch will collect you from your mansion at 7pm."
The 21st March arrived and I am patiently awaiting the arrival of The Monk and his infamous Hummer whilst sipping on a glass of Proper 12 whiskey (apple edition). It's 6:55pm as The Monk, or Ger as I call him, pulls into my driveway. "Long time no see, Ger. I have to say the long hair suits ye." I said to him. "Cheers Dev, you're looking stocky since the last time I saw ye—you're not on the juice, are ye?" he replied. We laugh, and being the citizen journalist that I am, I have to ask him "see that fella who looked like he was with you after the courts, who looked like he may have dabbled with heroin in the past, and possibly in the present, did you know him or what?". Locking eyes with me in the rear view mirror, he said "who the fook was that guy?" in his best McGregor impression.
Time flies as Ger and I share tasteful banter, and before I know it I'm outside the iconic Black Forge Inn. The bouncer rushes to open my door and he escorts me to the "please wait to be seated" sign, but of course there's no waiting around for me as some little rasper of a waitress greets me and directs me to the new VIP section. First round is on the house and my order is, naturally, a Forged Stout.
It's 8pm and the moment we've all been waiting for has arrived. It's not until the 55 minute mark that we are introduced to Conor McGregor's character, Knox, and lo-and-behold, he's in the nip causing a ruckus in a small town in Italy.
In the build up to this, we are shown glimpses of the backstory to Jake Gyllenhaal's character. Dalton, a former UFC middleweight champion who killed his last opponent in the octagon and since then has struggled to integrate his Jungian shadow (yes, I watch video essays on Carl Jung).
Dalton, as you can imagine, no longer fights in the UFC and instead brawls in underground bare-knuckle boxing bouts. At one of these events, the owner of a bar called "The Road House" seeks him out and asks him to be the bouncer for her establishment. Initially refusing, Dalton has a change of heart after a near death experience and decides to accept the job offer. It isn't long before he's in the thick of it, successfully defending the bar from a biker gang working for local gangster Ben Brandt, whose family have been buying up property to build an expansive resort. The Road House is the only one left with the owner refusing to sell. Brandt's incarcerated father decides to hire an enforcer; enter Knox!
You can take the man out of Dublin, but you certainly can't take Dublin out of the man as Knox speaks in Dublin lingo throughout with phrases such as "fuckin' famished" and referring to every other male character as "lad", in addition to hitting Dalton with a Ballymun speedloaf.
Most reviewers are comparing McGregor's acting to how he is in real life which is unfair as they never do so with any other actor (McGregor derangement syndrome much!) If they were to forget who McGregor is and instead focused on the character he plays, they would see that this was an impressive acting debut. Being in awe of his raw talent and high vril, his co-actors didn't know how to respond to him. Dalton, at times, had the expression of your NPC colleague when you tell him that no, you didn't see the soccerball match last night. He also did all of his own stunts - he is literally the Irish Tom Cruise folks!
My only real critique was his accent as he regularly switched from his natural one to the one he puts on for American audiences. Choosing one or the other would have allowed for a smoother dialogue while making his character seem even more realistic. Aside from this, I thoroughly enjoyed this highly entertaining, humourous, action packed film and yes, it was dripping in cheese. But it was the good kind of cheese, the raw milk red cheddar type of cheese, and I hope to see McGregor in many more films to come!
P.S. if you haven't seen this movie yet, make sure to continue watching after the credits as there's a shocking surprise!
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