Unashamed Autistic: The Refusal To Be AshamedExploring Autistic Pride Ahead Of My Book Release On July 31st
Tomorrow, my book Unashamed Autistic will be released into the world. It’s not just a collection of essays; it’s a declaration. A refusal. A celebration. And it feels fitting, even urgent, to mark this occasion by writing about something core to the book’s heart; Autistic Pride. Autistic Pride is not a corporate slogan or a one-day event. It is a radical act of resistance. It is a lifeline thrown between Autistic people across continents and generations. And it is, above all else, a refusal to be ashamed of existing as we are. For too long, Autistic existence has been framed as a tragedy, a burden, or a puzzle to solve. The medical model has reduced us to a pathology. The media has vilified or stigmatised us. Education systems have tried to normalise us. Even supportive neurotypicals have often only extended acceptance on the condition that we suppress or mask ourselves. But we are not here to be solved, corrected, or cured. We are here to be heard. To take up space. To live full, rich, complex lives on our own terms, and to do so unashamed. What Autistic Pride Really MeansAutistic Pride is not the same as individual confidence or self-esteem. It’s something far more collective and politicised. It is the collective reclamation of a neurotype that has been systematically marginalised. Pride, in this context, is not about being more than others or in some way better, it is survival. It is an antidote to shame. To feel pride as an Autistic person is to push back against the internalised ableism we've had forced upon us since childhood. It is to unlearn the lie that there is something fundamentally wrong with us, and instead embrace the richness of our neurocognitive style: our passions, our perceptions. It’s not about pretending that life is easy, or that we don’t face profound barriers. But Autistic Pride does say “We are not the problem”. The problem is a world built to exclude us. A Personal Reckoning with ShameUnashamed Autistic is born from my own lifelong negotiation with shame. Shame that was never mine to carry, but was handed to me by schools that demanded compliance, by professionals who pathologised me, and by a society that saw my struggles as “challenging behaviour” rather than communication. I wrote this book because I needed to name that shame. To look it in the eye. And then, to burn it. In the pages of Unashamed Autistic, you’ll find essays on a number of aspects of Autistic experience, and how and why we live in a world that demands our shame. But the pervasive theme in every chapter is this; I am not ashamed. And I want you to know that you don’t have to be either. The Lie of “Independence” and the Truth of InterdependenceAutistic Pride also invites us to reject neuronormative values that are sold to us as universal truths. One of the most insidious is the hegemony of “independence”. We are told that success means standing alone, being self-sufficient, not needing help. But that’s a myth rooted in capitalist individualism, a neoliberal lie, not human reality. No one is truly independent. We are all interdependent, reliant on each other in various, shifting ways. The importance of community for our wellbeing is enshrined in research. When communities come together, individuals flourish and move towards a life of thriving. Autistic Pride means saying “I need support, and I deserve it. I offer support, and it is valuable. My way of being in the world is valid, not despite my needs, but with them”. Unashamed in a Pathologising WorldTo be openly and proudly Autistic is still a risky act in many places. It can cost us jobs, safety, healthcare, access, and even relationships. That’s why Autistic Pride is not just personal, it’s political. It’s about fighting for a world where no Autistic person has to live in the shadows in order to survive. The psychiatric system still frames autism as a “disorder”. The education system often views Autistic students as problems to be managed. Employers demand capitalist prodcutivity and small talk over actual competence. Family members still ask, “Have you tried not being Autistic?” To be unashamed in the face of all that is to defy a system that depends on our complicity by silence. Autistic Pride gives us the language and the collective strength to speak out, and to build something better. Pride Is Not Just for JuneAutistic Pride isn’t confined to one day a year. It’s not something you put on a t-shirt and then forget. It’s lived, everyday, in every act of self-acceptance. Every time an Autistic person challenges the shame forced upon us, we are resisting through pride. And that practice is contagious. When we live unashamed, we show other Autistic people (especially those still coming to terms with their identity)that it is safe to do the same. We plant seeds. We build community. We create a world where the next generation of Autistic young people can grow up free from the scrutiny of neuronormative society. The Role of CommunityAutistic Pride is sustained through community. Through the online spaces where we find each other. Through group chats, social media, blogs, and the neurodivergent creators who give language to experiences we once thought were unspeakable. This book would not exist without those communities. Unashamed Autistic was written in conversation with a broader Autistic rhizome; the decentralized, multi-dimensional network of Autistic knowledge sharing that refuses academic gatekeeping. It’s a rhizome I am proud to be a part of. A community rooted in solidarity, not superiority. When I speak of pride, I do not mean it in isolation. I mean it as a collective act, a web of Autistic people lifting each other up, making space for grief, for joy, for rage, and for rest. Moving Beyond VisibilityWhile visibility has its place, Autistic Pride goes further. Visibility without understanding becomes a side show. Representation without transformation becomes tokenism. When we are simply observed we become exhibitions in a global gallery rather than the human beings we are. Autistic Pride demands more than awareness, it demands justice. It demands accessibility, safety, autonomy, and liberation. It demands a reshaping of systems, not just superficial inclusion within them. We are not asking to be tolerated. We are declaring that we are here, and we are enough; not because we emulate neurotypical norms, but because our Autistic existence is something more than our political or economic value. A Final InvitationAs Unashamed Autistic enters the world, I want to offer an invitation to all Autistic people, and especially to those who are still learning to let go of shame. Let this be your permission slip. To stop performing for a neurotypical audience. To stim. To infodump. To rest. To exist in full embodiment of your Self. To reject shame. To write your own story. Pride is not something you earn. It is something you deserve just by existing. Unashamed. Unapologetic. Autistic. Always. You're currently a free subscriber to David Gray-Hammond. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription.
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Wednesday, 30 July 2025
Unashamed Autistic: The Refusal To Be Ashamed
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