Monday night zoom call

susanmiller64

Mar 31

It is the last Monday of March and we have our weekly zoom call, it is a time to get together with my friends online near and far. I got home a little before 5pm so I had plenty of time to get ready, which I enjoy. Doing my makeup and transforming myself is something I love and look forward to, it makes a bad day better and a good day great. I spent a little over an hour getting ready and yes I tried a little different eye look, mainly a winged eye liner which is still something I struggle with, probably because I do them so infrequent. I was happy with the way it turned out though. I also wore my short yellow summer dress, last year I bought several summer dresses but this one is baggy and I just don't like the way it hangs so it is one of my house dresses as it is perfect if I am sitting down or you can only see from my chest up. I was all ready by a little after 6pm and took some pictures and watched TV till it was time for the zoom call to start.

Now a little politics so feel free to skip over the red text. Watching TV the big story was the shooting in Nashville at the Christian school and my prayers and thoughts go out to the families and friends of the victims. Now the shooter was part of the Transgender community, my community and there have been a few other mass shooters from the Transgender community and yes it appears the shooting was based on hate towards Christians and people who don't support the Transgender community. The point I am making is it is not the Transgender community as a group that supports this it is one or two mentally deranged, sick persons. You cannot blame the Transgender community for the actions of a few anymore then you can blame whites for racism or the police for a few bad officers. You need to look at the person, not their skin color, gender, sexual preference, religion, or political views. The vast majority of people are good honest and fair but in every group there are bad people who do bad things and that goes for even the transgender community. It is not the gun or weapon that was used fault, it is not the Transgender community fault, and it is not the religious or political views of the victims fault. Any one who can commits a mass shooting or point a gun at a 9 year old and shoot them is mentally deranged. Any kind of violence used to promote your belief or political views on any side is wrong. Everyone has a right t their belief and view. My right to live my life as a woman is no more important than someone else's right to believe I am wrong and the only issue is when we use force to impose our views or way of life on others. Yes I am a strong supporter of the second amendment and our constitution which protects us all. Again, please everyone keep these people and all people in your thoughts and prayers and lets look past our differences and find things we can agree on.

It was 7pm when I started the zoom call and tonight we would have 13 of us, Bree, Cindi, Danielle, Emily, Jan, Lynn, Jennifer, Melissa, Michelle, Nicole, Sherri, Tori, and of course me. It is always great to talk with my friends on video chat as they can join from anyplace and tonight one of pir girls was traveling outside the country but also took time to join us. We took a little time and caught up as we always open with a sharing time and let girls share what is new or going on in their lives. one of the exciting things is Melissa was going to be on a panel where she works for Transgender day of visibility, one of 4 people Infront of several hundred people and also live streamed to her whole company which is a really big one with offices all around the world. What an opportunity for her and she was really looking forward to this but also a little nervous which we can all understand but we know she will do great. I have often thought about this and I can see where it can be a hard thing as I really can only give my feelings and perspective so Melissa will really be talking about herself and opening up about her life and feelings and that is a hard thing to do, we are all so proud of her. We also talked about a lot of other things and just had a wonderful time. bow it was time for Jennifer's question of the week.

The questions was when we are out and we have interactions with others what is something we like, look forward to or helps validate us when we are out, which is a really good question and there are so many things that come to mind. It was interesting to hear what the other girls thought and there were a lot of similarities. For me it really came down to two things. First I know I really don't pass, maybe sitting down not talking in a dark room but in general I know people know I was not born female and at best that I am transgender and at worst a man in a dress. That being said when I am out almost always people react to me and treat me how I am dressed. I have had a lot of men hold doors open for me, even a few women. I try to blend the best I can and don't cause a scene or draw attention to myself, in other words try to emulate the best f being a woman and not make fun of them or belittle them in the way I present and I think that helps a lot with how people perceive me. Being out and treated like other women even though everyone knows I am not is the most validating and affirming thing for me. common curtesy goes a long was and it goes back to my statement above where we need to look past our differences and focus on the things we can agree on and see the person and not their outward appearance.

The other thing is being able to talk to people and yes I have a hard time initiating a conversation with someone I don't know but once I get talking to them I love it. I really think most people are interested in us and want to know and understand us and how we feel but in todays society are afraid of offending us or saying the wrong thing. For me if someone truly is interested and wants to know something it would be pretty hard for them to offend me, yes there may be things I tell them are a little t personal to answer but I will do my best to answer their questions. I really think we need to get this dialog going and talking with people as I thing the unknown abut someone is the hardest part and what leads to fear. There are some stories about people who were anti-gay till it was someone in their family they new and loved and then once they made that personal connection they changes their views, yes not always but enough of the time. I think as we get to know other people and they can get to know the true us it really does make a difference. One of the reasons I love our Wednesday dinners and my time at Starbucks and probably why I do go to several different Starbucks. It was a good night. It was almost 9pm when we closed down the meeting.

Now a little story about today at work, one of the ladies I work with came to talk to me, she had smashed her finger a little, not bad but enough to tear part of her nail but not on the end, part way down her nail bed and wanted to know what she could do. There really wasn't much she could try to trim it but it would still be a little jagged and exposed part of her nail bed. Really all I could tell her was to keep a band aid on it till it could grow out to where she could trim it which would probably be 3 to 4 weeks or put something on it like acrylic. I thought it was interesting as she came to me even though now there are 13 women where I work now that have acrylic nails.