361one posted: " In her new series My Shorts Alice stops herself from falling over the edge of insanity by writing weird stuff. Part 5 asks - what does it take to keep the wolf from the door? Best bit: that wolf is standing at the door and you raise a glass or 4, 5.....p" 361 The problem of you 361one Dec 31 In her new series My Shorts Alice stops herself from falling over the edge of insanity by writing weird stuff. Part 5 asks - what does it take to keep the wolf from the door? Best bit: that wolf is standing at the door and you raise a glass or 4, 5.....puke into the trifle.....and you wear a dress that fit you last year but now it's too tight on the armpits...........and you've put your party shoes on to step over that threshold.....and that dog shit has really squashed into the sole... I am the wolf! Stepping over the dog shit stained threshold of this year you wonder what you are leaving behind. A bunch of white middle class women shove advice from 'the study' into your inbox whilst their husbands wash the 4 x 4. You just know that if they saw you on the street they'd be judging your coat and shoes. Gratitude journals offered like canapes (that you always dropped down your top before the invites dried up as you dried up.) Writing prompts fall like January credit card bills. So much polite, helpful bullshit to monetarise their weak talent. Open your mouth for the crumbs and sign up to Patreon, you proles. and still when you've followed all their shit advice from a platform underpinned by hubby's cut throat job....still.....that wolf is standing at the door this New Year's Eve. And although you raise a glass or 4, 5.....puke into the trifle.....and you wear a dress that fit you last year but now it's too tight on the armpits...........and you've put your party shoes on to step over that threshold.....and that dog shit has really squashed into the sole... You stand staring at each other - woman and wolf - and the countdown begins. 10. 9. 8. eye to eye there's something you recognise about that wolf...........7.6.5. same eyes, same mouth.......4.3. that wolf you can't keep from the door.................2. 1. HAPPY NEW YEAR! the wolf's disappeared but you stand there in your cheap clothes with an empty glass, at least 2 stone overweight and full of cheese and onion crisps and you've still got one problem to welcome in the New Year with. The problem of you. Find alice at 361diamond.co.uk Comment Like You can also reply to this email to leave a comment. Manage your email settings or unsubscribe.

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